Silleh story

Okay, so Ben suggested that I post the silly story that Kel and I wrote on here. It started off as my English story and thanks to Ben turned into a very stupid story. Also, Jayson contributed slightly towards the end, but not much. The last insulting paragraph was pretty much all him. :P I swear this isn't how we normally write our stories. :) Please don't judge us...

Boy, Girl and Tumbleweed

I was hot. So hot that the leaves were curling on the trees and the birds were lifeless. She walked on, exhausted, through grey, brittle scrub… Her throat was dry, and sweat was running down her face. Just… a few more steps… She thought she could see what resembled a well not that far ahead of her. She reached it, only to collapse in front of it, her strength almost completely exhausted. She needed to keep going, to keep running as fast as she could. He would still be chasing her, drawing steadily closer with each deep breath she took.

Suddenly, the light disappeared from view, as a huge shadow loomed over her. She gasped in horror, terrified that all her worst fears would be realised, only to hear a rough male voice confirm otherwise. This could not be her pursuer. She slowly looked up, to see a lanky, dark haired boy standing over her. He repeated himself again, asking if she was alright, his voice filled with concern. She opened her mouth to speak, ready to answer yes like she always did, no matter how she truly felt. What had happened? No sound would come out of her mouth. Her throat was too parched; the boy quickly fumbled around in the bag he was carrying and pulled out a water bottle which he handed to her. She greedily gulped down mouthfuls of water, not caring as it dripped down her sun scorched face. The cool water soothed her throat and her face, and she briefly lowered the water bottle to slap him in the face. “You’re the boy who helped him!  Jebediah!  You helped him steal my virginity! I do know you after all!’ asfgsdyugfsuiflh /runs away. The boy looked shocked, but then all of a sudden, a fleeting look of realisation crossed his face, only to be quickly replaced by a slightly quizzical look. “Oh wait, the one I raped on Thursday! But… you’ve changed… You’re not… hot… anymore… No wonder I didn’t recognise you.” LOL!

From her position several metres away, the girl screamed angrily, and grabbed a dead bird from the ground to hurl at the boy, like a dangerous missile.  He pulled out a flamethrower and toasted the bird. They then took a five minute lapse from the epic battle to pull out a picnic rug and have a feast with the bird. Once they were done, they quickly cleaned up and took up their positions again. A tumbleweed rolled by, and western music began to play. “This town ain’t big enough for the two of us” drawled the boy. “Uhm, why do I have a Southern accent now? And this isn’t even a town… Huh…” The tumbleweed, bored of all this trash talk, decided to take things into its own…hands? It turned into a super-powerful-techno-ninja-pirate-transforming transformer with hydro electric turbines and solar powered missile launchers. “Why it’s automatic, it’s systematic, it’s hyyy-dromatic…why it’s greased lightnin!!” sung the girl. “Sorry guys, I couldn’t help it. I just had to! It worked so perfectly.” She grinned widely, then pulled out her shrink ray. “Oh, it’s on biatch!” The boy’s eyes widened and pulling out his own wimpy gun, he half whispered, “Oh dayuuumm, I am sooooooo screwed.”

The tumbleweed was feeling a little bit left out after that, so he screamed out “NINJA STYLE!” and prepared to dance the tango while holding an umbrella and a shuriken. He hurled the umbrella like a javelin at the boy. However, the boy had super jumping abilities and jumped out of the way. The tumbleweed then threw the shuriken at the girl, who caught it in her tiny girlish hands, and screamed a horrible scream: “YOU INTERRUPTED MY SINGING AND MY MANICURE!!!!! YOU MUST DIEEEEEEEEEE!” The force of the scream burst the tumbleweed and boy’s eardrums, and they collapsed on the ground, squirming in pain. The sun blew up and they all died, but then they came back to life as zombies. Obviously, it was the special reanimation jutsu of the ninja tumbleweed. Then the evil witch Kelemesey appeared, with her sidekick Debawebbawa, who was a stunning shrunken head. They had been testing their teleporting skills when they randomly appeared in the middle of an epic reanimation ritual thingo. And oh damn it… all knowledge of how to teleport had been wiped from their minds. ‘OH NOES! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO??!?!?!?’ thought the shrunken head. Kelsemesy, being the amazing genius mastermind that she was, hatched a plan to help them out, but in reality, the shrunken head had telepathically placed the idea in her head. She conjured a monster truck out of sand, and jumped in, kicking the old lady driver out. I can’t say I’m entirely sure where the old lady appeared from, but anyway, back to the story. The tumbleweed, boy and girl looked on in horror as the kitten-shaped monster truck came closer to them, meowing all the way. They turned on their heels and ran, screaming girly screams all the way, and throwing their clothes off as they ran for no particular reason. The truck turned into a submarine, diving under the hot sand and continued chasing the three delinquents. The three delinquents turned out to be mass murderous squid from planet oogzaba who were actually in disguise. Just randomly there is a zombie outside my window, oh wait that’s just your mum ;)

The tumbleweed ran into a Mcdonald’s and gobbled down all their chicken deluxe burgers, then vomited it all up into a flood of burgers that ran all the way to china and killed all the chinese people but who cares they only little yellow monkeys oh and india cant even make a bridge wtf!! Aside from that pointless fact, Deborah smells :P aside from that true fact, the boy ran into a strip club and started crying.

We never heard from him again.

THE END J