Fear.

Right now, I'm sitting alone in a cold empty house, and for some reason I'm completely terrified. I've stayed home at night by myself before and mostly been okay... but I just want to be surrounded by people... I want to hear laughter and loud voices... I'm absolutely scared and I don't like this at all... Maybe it's because I read a couple of murder stories and dad isn't home at the moment. I don't know. I should have gone with him. I'm not gonna get homework done anyway, when I'm so freaked out. Damn it, I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's a combination of all the stress due to school work, the lack of sleep, the murder stories, not being able to do much stuff outside of school and how upset I normally I get every night. Although it's normally later at night when I begin to feel sad... I even feel like randomly bursting into tears. Argh, I want my friends.

On a different topic, although I'm still kinda scared :S There are some things I want to say to a few people.

• You absolutely terrify me sometimes and I just want to run away and hide from you.
• Although most of the time we just argue, I honestly love being friends with you. You're a much better person than several people give you credit for.
• This one's directed at two people in particular. I hope you two will always be a part of my life as you are both so amazing.
• You probably won't realise that this one is directed at you, but you don't seem to have much belief in yourself and believe me when I say that you are an amazing person and you shouldn't doubt yourself or your standing with others.

I have to say that writing that calmed me down a little, but I just wish I had at least one friend here with me right now. I'm so freaking stupid. I hate myself at times like this. Shadows and empty houses haven't scared me in a long time. :S I think I misplaced my courage and gained some new fears instead. Oh gosh, I feel like the biggest idiot writing this. I don't know what's wrong with me...