The day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you...

I was just listening to this song, and it kinda struck me how right the timing seemed to be. It doesn't hurt at all, any more. It's not that I thought I'd never get through in my case though. More that I thought it would be a lot longer before thinking of you didn't make me upset any more. I'm really glad that the memories are mainly just good ones now. =]

You know, I've been thinking about everything a lot recently, and now that I think about it, I honestly don't think I'm going to miss school as much as I thought I would... I guess it's just that like many people have said, it's time we moved on. After all, there are many bad memories to leave behind as well, although I think I could say that they are probably cancelled out by so many good ones. I think that made more sense in my head. :S Yeah, so basically there are just so many things I have to look forward to right now, and it feels so good to know that I'll be completely free of Year 12 soon. :)

But wishes generally don't come true...

I wish ...

• people weren't so bitchy. 
• I was beautiful.
• we had chances to actually hang out more than once a week.
• you cared about me more.
• that things work out for you.
• I could get a job.
• I knew exactly who really cares and who doesn't. Some I can easily pick, others I can't...
• you lived closer.
• that for once you would stop being so over dramatic and selfish.
• that I could stay friends with you forever
• I was smart enough.
• I was better at photography and design. If I'm not good enough, I won't get anywhere in the design industry.
• that school wasn't over just yet, kinda...
• camping was sooner.
• that you'd stop bringing up stuff that's happened between me and my friends. It's none of your business. Sorry, but it really isn't. At all. Also, don't bring up stuff and then ignore me completely after I get mad. I've told you countless times not to bring up certain topics.
• we had the chance to be friends again. I think if we had just a little more time, we might have been again. 
• I was some one that people could look up to.
• that I was a better person.
• I knew how to organise doing missionary work and I wish I could do it sooner.
• I was a better friend.
• things were slightly different.
• I was motivated.

I wish I had superpowers...

Actually, no... I'd rather just be magic. :)

• First, I would fix certain friendships
• Open his eyes to what he's blind to
• Fast forward to the end of Year 12
• Improve my design skills
• Make sure that she will be happy
• Get both of them to talk to me again
• Maybe make him care about me again
• Build my self confidence
• Stop all the fights and arguments
• Make a difference in someone's life
• Have enough money to help people in need
• Make myself better again... I can't even go to school when I want to :(

Wow, farmer wants a wife... >.< What a stupid show... Trying to set up a 'happily ever after'. I don't understand shows like that. It seems so stupid and pointless... Might just be because I'm sick and sort of merr aofsdifdh but it just makes me kinda annoyed. :S

I hope I can be back at school tomorrow. I really wanted to go this morning, but I sounded like an old man or something... :/ That can't be normal. Not entirely sure if feeling like everything is tilting or like I'm about to fall over randomly is normal either... :S I don't know... I just want to be better again, so I can see people and not fall behind with school work.

Oh, and Lollipop, what I forgot to mention in my last blog is that you've helped make me the person I am today. Thank you. :)

Uhm okay... I don't think I will ever understand you. Any one want to volunteer to protect me? /Sigh. If only I could shield myself from feelings sometimes... like right now. Ugh.