>.< I don't know why I have to care so much. I actually trust you but really, you're just letting yourself be completely screwed over and again and again if you're keeping her as the most important person in your life and if you ignore all your other friends when she's talking to you.  sidfgskhdfuisf I would love to punch her in the face so much right now.

You make me sad. Why can't you just do what you said you would? or maybe you just want me to know that you don't care about catching up any more... :(

Also, she's being horrible to him even though he did nothing, and it's making me feel even sadder. Argh, why are people so stupid and horrible???!?! /Gets angry face on. Merrr :( Oh and now I'm worried that he's getting his hopes up way too high, about her still wanting to be friends aoyrfhsdyugsdfjkh

I miss you... I just miss you... I can't even explain it... I don't know... I guess you were one of them that I felt the most comfortable around... I was never nervous about texting you or wanting to talk to you... I never worried that you might find me annoying or my worries stupid or that you might judge me or anything like that...

:D Glad I said ended up saying hi to you just then and that we had that 2 minute conversation. Gotta say that I'm extremely glad that you only didn't reply to my text because you have no credit, but even so, I still dislike how short a leash your girlfriend seems to have you on. -____-

It's not better yet, no, not by a long shot. Argh, yet again, I made the stupid mistake of looking at photos someone had uploaded on to Facebook, and yet again saw photos of him. But he looked really happy, so I'm happy for him. There's no way I'm going to take my friend's advice and email him, because I don't want to risk ruining that and if he's no longer thinking about the past, it's good that way. As long as he's happy, I'm okay with being sad at times.

-Some form of creative title-

Just a note; when I say you it doesn't always refer to the same person, but changes.

I hate that I didn't even get to say hi to you at formal, because your girlfriend was with you practically every single second. You didn't even come up and hug me like you did at valedictory... I mean she'd probably eat your soul if you did. >.< You didn't even talk to some of your closest friends who were girls. Argh, I dislike your girlfriend greatly, just because I didn't even get a hug or a hi or anything. You ignored me all for her sake. Now you're not even replying to my text, and if you haven't run out of credit it's probably because she'd get mad at you for talking to other girls. :@ I don't think you have any idea how much I miss you...

The guy I really miss, when I saw him at formal and almost started crying, you started trying to reassure me and as much as I love you, I don't think I can understand what was going through your mind when you said at one point "He's ugly, it's okay." That definitely did not make me feel any better. There's no way I could have misheard you either right? What even?! iaurkfhsdkf sdfous >.<

Every time you don't reply to one of my messages or texts for hours, I worry that it's because you've gotten sick of me, that I said something stupid or that you really have begun to find me annoying, and that when you said you could never find me annoying because I'm too awesome, you didn't really mean it. I'm also really worried and I kinda have a bad feeling about this... Having late night texting conversations and making plans together and with others... It's too similar, way too similar to when him and I liked each other and were best friends. I don't like this. I just want everything to go away.

It feels like my brain's going to melt when I start processing all of this, and last night when I was talking to her about everything, I think I realised that he may have been a rebound crush... That all that happened because he liked me and he was there for me; he was someone to fill the empty space, because once he was gone too, I missed him even more than I ever did before... Realising all that kinda freaked me out.

I'm still scared. I'm terrified of putting my trust in you, because it's too similar. I just have this bad feeling that things aren't going to end well. It's way too easy to talk to you though, and I don't like it. sdthudfgdflgjdfogl my brain feels like mush.

I'm going to go try and figure out my feelings, even though I know I'll fail miserably. It just feels like there are a million different emotions swirling around inside of me and it's making me feel sick.