So over this.

So much excitement. :D

Looks like everything actually adds up... I love that it's already like we'd never stopped being friends, and everything's great again. :D :D :D I never realised how much I'd actually missed you till yesterday... <3

So happy right now. I'm even actually really excited for my uni course now, although I'm still worried about making friends again and such, but :D! I can't wait! My uni schedule means I can catch up with one of my friends a lot more than I have in ages too. Somehow it's more convenient than at the moment. I only have uni for three days a week also, and a couple of my friends who aren't going to uni yet actually plan on coming to the city just to visit me in my breaks. :D :D :D

On top of that, I get to see the happy meal at least two times every week, I've realised which of my friends really matter the most to me, I practically get to start over at uni cause I know no one, we're talking as much as we used to again, I actually have time to just relax and do the things I enjoy the most, my sister's back from placement finally, and countless other things!

I just can't stop smiling right now.

Untrustworthy.

So apparently one of you just never got messages and the other just didn't check theirs because they were getting tonnes of spam... To be honest, I don't believe either of you, but apparently you both want to catch up with me again, so I guess I'll just go along with it for now... As much as I don't believe either of you, I guess I'll just pretend I do... It makes things easier right? At least I've already confronted you about ignoring me. There's not much more I can do... Being friends again can't hurt anyway, unless the same thing happens again... :/

Happyhappyhappy

...Just sayin'. :D

If that's the kind of person you think I am, then you obviously don't know me at all.

I'm glad that I've started getting to know you better recently. We've known each other for a while but we only randomly started talking more about a week ago and it made me realise what an amazing person I'd been missing out on getting to know properly and I'm really glad that I won't be any longer. :)

Okay seriously, just stop telling me I'm vain... I'm way better than I used to be. I don't worry as much as I used to about looking perfect or whatever. At I least I eat properly these days and try to get in shape by exercising instead of stupid methods. And I don't think that even makes me vain... Being vain means having an extremely high opinion of your worth or looks. I know you don't know quite how bad I used to be, but I know I'm better and I would have thought you'd noticed... I do still worry about how I look at times, but I don't care anywhere near as much and I'm proud of myself for that. Sometimes I even believe that I look half decent. Please just stop.

afhuisdyfsdyu rage and such things.

If you start becoming more like him, I don't know what I'll do... But you promised, so you have to keep your word right?

Turns out you know me better than I thought you did... but at the same time you don't know me as well as I thought... :/

Also, I really hope that you meant what you said... But he's probably right and I shouldn't get my hopes up. That way it won't hurt as much when/if they get crushed. :S :(

Unexpected.

Okay, so I was kinda surprised running into you at the hub today... and also really unsure as to how to react. You acted as if you hadn't ignored me at all, and it was kinda weird that you told me to text you and asked how new zealand was... Three people have already told me not to bother with you because you don't deserve my friendship, and I hate to admit it but given the chance... I think I'd still want to be friends with you again. :/ Which yes, I know is stupid... but we were good friends... and it seems like you don't even realise that you upset me and made me worry about what I might have done wrong... :S Although I guess the first thing I should ask is why you ignored me, then not try to be friends with you again...

On a different note, I haven't really been feeling well at all for the past week or so, and I feel really bad for already bailing on several of my friends... My head's already started hurting again and it just makes me want to curl up on the ground and try to shut everything out... On top of that, I've been alone too much the past few days and I'm already sick of it. It was great at first, but I couldn't even concentrate on reading because it hurt my head too much just thinking about it and so I've had way too much time to think. I know it's stupid and although my life is fairly okay at the moment, I couldn't help but start thinking about everything that's happened in the past year and a half, yet again... All of it, what happened with adam, jayden, jeremy, zowtyj, travis, nathan, sophie... and it wasn't even any of that that made me feel so sad I don't think... I just felt kind of empty and like I was going to start crying uncontrollably any second, but I didn't know why... I was just absolutely terrified that people didn't care about me... that I had no one to talk to... I can only remember feeling that way, to an insane extent, two other times in my life... I mean, it's weird, I know there are several people I can talk to... But what was I even supposed to say? Please reassure me that you care about me? I don't even know what's wrong..? suiofusdhfiusdfosd I'm so stupid sometimes...

...I feel like crying again...

I feel like I should add something happy in here, seeing as all I ever seem to blog about most of the time these days is sad/depressing stuff... :S Today ended up being really good. I was able to hang out with two of my favourite people, who made me laugh almost constantly, and when I didn't feel well, they made sure they looked after me and that I'd be alright. :) Only a few of my favourite people were missing, but I get to see most of them tomorrow night, so at least I have something really exciting to look forward to. :)

I have the most amazing friends. <3